Cancer Sucks!

This post is again about a patient. Sometimes my job is hard. and this provides me with an outlet to "let it out". and to tell their stories... So their spirits shine and to help me gain perspective and understanding. Well here is Belinda's story off of Caring Bridge... its a public site so I don't think She would mind me copying it.

All of you know Belinda so therefore you know that she is a very sweet young women. You also know that she is a strong person and she can handle anything with great integrity. This has not changed her at all it has made her a stronger person. Now that I have told you what you all ready know. She came to the hospital on April 3,2007, she was in renal failure and her blood count was 4.5.(for everyone that doesn't know that means she has a third of the blood in her body that she needs to survive. They did a ultrasound and found a tumor under her uterus. The tumor size is 11 by 4 and 9 by 6 cm. On April 4, they flew her to St.Louis Children's hospital, where she had emergency surgery to put stints in her kidneys. At the time of the surgery they biopsied the tumor to see if it was Cancer. After surgery she went to the PICU. She under went serveal test to see what damage the tumor had done. She was so weak they were trying to figure out why. She moved to the 9th floor on the 6th of April. On April the 8 we found out that the tumor was indeed cancer. But they were still unsure how they were going to treat it at this time. So that started to waiting game for us. On April 12we decided what kind of chemo she would recivie. On the 15th of April she had her first round of chemo. That shut down the stints that they had put in her kidneys. So she was rushed back to surgery and had tubes put straight in her kidneys to drain the urine. On the 19th of April she got a second round of chemo. This round paralyzed her bowels on the 23rd of April. So on the25th of April we went back to the PICU. We are trying to see if she had a bowel obstruction.On the 6th of May they found that she did have the obstruction. So on May 10 she had surgery. She now has a colostomy bag to help the bowels out. She went through surgery great and is doing good. We moved back to the 9th floor on the 11th of May. She loves her new room and is doing good.

Well since that time.... Belinda had developed neuropathys from the Chemotherapy drugs. So walking and writing had become very difficult for her. She stuggled hard to work through pain and deal with the cards she had been dealt. December 17th 2008 was Belinda's 18th birthday and also the day of "the surgery" She was to get a complete tumor removal, hysterectomy and colostomy reversal. She was so glad the the tumor appeared in the scans to be necrotic (dead) and although she could never have children she would not have to worry further about future tumor growth in the same area ( a frequent area for the type of tumor she had.) She only had 3 more Chemotherapies left in her treatment. and the day before her birthday her hospital roommate had completed her last Chemotherapy... everyone was so excited for the roommate and I could see that Belinda was excited for her turn. Things have a way of not always working out the way we want them too. Belinda went for surgery but when they opened her abdomen they found many small tumors which had the same appearance of her large uterine tumor... they call those metastases. and its bad. they were not able to perform the surgeries as planned due to the extent of the tumors. Belinda will have to deal with the reality that this cancer is spreading quickly, despite aggressive chemotherapy. Doctors are searching for experimental treatments which may help. But they are not too optimistic. On her freaking birthday... Belinda wrote a song.... and I heard her sing it yesterday... called Cancer Sucks. it does. it sucks bad.
The doctors wanted me to get her up out of bed yesterday so she doesn't get pneumonia after surgery. It was the hardest thing I have had to do... suck it up and just do it. know that it isn't the end... More than a bump... but not the end. and we can never give up. although things look bleak, There still is life... and I can help her live it the best I know how. ...
Sorry for the long sad post. but... it had to come out.